-=:[F]airyland.[I]n.[R]eality:=-

Yet another update ...

2007-01-22T04:38:00.000-08:00

Mitchell said i should come update my blog. So i come update my blog. Apparently im sort of employed in my uncle's office as an office boy. Lots of odd jobs and the pay aint great either. But at least its a job. The office is at tanjong pagar btw so if any one working near and want to have lunch together can msg me. If not i just have to get used to eating lunch alone i guess.

Hehe. I dunno why i feel relieved employed even when work is tiring.

Never mind that 2 ...

2007-01-21T06:58:00.000-08:00

2nd time blogging in 2 days. maybe i am feeling weird. all i can say now is life is really fucked up. lemme show u how.

first. im still jobless. i got fired even before i started work. cool right. wednesday got a recruit express consultant from JE say got a job at a particular company at 5.50 per hour. pays a bit low but its still a admin job anyhow. so i rushed down all the way to find her and signed a one-sided contract with them. then on friday. the consultant suddenly called say the job was on hold due to some "system error". which i translated to mean that they no longer needed ppl. then i suddenly became jobless again. whats worse is that i got a few job offers after i accepted that stupid job that i rejected as i thought i really had a job. final conclusion is i have to restart the whole job finding progress all over again.

second. its the one i dun wan to talk about. i just read someone's blog and well the way he phrase it makes me and my mother seem money mined about everything. its ok. i give up trying to control the way ppl tink of me. every pair of parents are unique. although i might not argee with what my parents want me to do. i still have to do. its as simple as that. but it may appear that im just trying to use my parents to justify my everywrongdoing. whatever. believe what ever u want.

third. im simply not good enuff for anything. i dun have the luck other ppl have when it comes to lots of things. maybe its not luck and its just me. i dunno. damn stupid useless me.

Never mind that ...

2007-01-19T04:17:00.000-08:00

i think i noe what you are thinking of me. i guess u just dun understand my situation. interpret it in whatever way u might like to. theres nothing i can do. im the one stuck in the middle. the one who has to come under pressure. not u. so think of me whatever way u want. say whatever u want to others too. i really just cant adhere to whatever ppl think of me. no one understands. really no one. they just wan me to adhere to whatever is in their best interest. and when something goes wrong. its all my fault. fine. im ok with it. thats just a price of being me.

in many ways im loser/noob/nub/useless. whatever. im just going to give up trying to live my life to please others. i have no best friends. never had. someone that truly understands me. no one even came close. i dunno. but ultimately the only person that will always understand you most will be yourself. no one else. its no wonder. its not as if im really good with words or can make people feel happy. who would want to be my best fren.

so many things running thru my head now. i guess i just have to accept im not as lucky as others. others who are never wrong. its only me. stupid useless me. going by the belief that luck is finite. maybe i will be very lucky in the future. but now is now. never had a dream come through just seem so apt.

i hope no one reads this. i really do. even if no one believes me.

New Post ...

2006-12-19T08:23:00.000-08:00

Hmp. So i finally mustered up enough effort to blog again. zzz. I am currently umemployed thanks to my mom who kicked up a fuss over every job i found. Apparently she tinks finding a temp job is a piece of cake. zzz. Act. Dunno. Guess i will just laze arnd and wait for the final outcome of my relief teacher application ba. Hope i like get posted to my primary school which is like 500 metres away from my home. Easy to get to work lor. LOL.

Anyway staying at home unemployed sux. There is no one to go out with coz everyone is employed. Plus i get dragged in to do housework all the time. Further more my dad likes to hog the comp for hours in a row. End up i share whatever is miserable amt of free comp time left with my bro. Imagine how lit is left. zzz.

Many things have gone by since the time i last blogged. A levels, Prom are just some of them ba. Im like too lazy to elaborate about them since im like about to doze off any moment. And besides, I DIDNT BULLY ANYONE ON GRAD NITE. zzz. nvm.

Ok. Thats all before i decide to del this post altogether.

Post-Prelims

2006-09-20T21:09:00.000-07:00

well u could say its over ... at least for now ... yesterday marked the last paper for prelims and it ended off with me going to play lan for 5 hours plus with dan me alex hanyang yushu in order of how we sat at the lan shop ... first time i played so long in a row ... and it was the first time i played dota in a long long long time ... not to mentioned i sucked ... but at least i was contented playing ...

now to sum the prelims up in one word ... "flop" ... ppl like dan will tell me to fuck off ... but well ... from the looks at it ... all looks pretty crapped up ... i dun recall a paper that i was confident of doing well but i shld have confidence in myself ... so i say can pass ... later i fail damn sad ... but nvm ... all is over le just have fun while i can ... the feeling now is like getting to breathe in fresh air after being deprieved of oxygen ... wonder what happens to the haemoglobin ...

ai ya ... now can only hope for the best le lor ... got to work harder for a lvls lar ... haizzz ... i got pretty depleted trying to do better for the prelims ... but turns out the results will be same or worse ... but whats over is like already over ... so i heck care ... at least till i get back the papers ... no teachers come and niao me yet (like yushu in the cantenn) ... so i didnt do too badly or too well ... which is a cause for consolation since its more likely to be the former ... lol ...

but now i already ren ming already ... was is meant to be will meant to be ... what was never meant to be will never ever be ... old concept new meaning ... so i just discounted the need to try and work for it ... ppl get sick of the same ending when it always happens ok ??? ... me included ... so better get out of the show quick ... or else later u get "WTF is that lame ending that i have seen in every movie i watched" ... ok i not making sense now ... must be my brain got fried in the prelims ...

Essay Question
"Prelims are bad for brain development in our teens nowadays, in fact, they damage it inreversibly. " Discuss the statement and evaluate to what extend the above statement is true. You are reminded of the need to write this 25 marks essay in an impossible frame of time for noobs like yourself. [25]

hmp ... try write this one out when you are free .. sure got kick one ... yar like kicked in the ass ... rmb the next time your teacher flashes a "U-Got-Owned" smile ... pls return a "Me-Own-U-Big-Time-Next-Time" smile ...

or simply the "Me-Got-Owned-Big-Time" smile ... like me now ... ok so much for crapping ... very sad already ... today cannot dot ... see how 2ml ... haizzz ...

Bad Day

2006-07-06T03:02:00.000-07:00

《没那么爱他-范玮琪》

你有权力情绪化

你不一定要坚强

但有些事情不能伪装

也为自己设了框

我懂失去的悲伤

也懂进退的挣扎

但想起过去都是失望

又何必要放不下

是习惯还是爱

不放心还是不甘心

只有你自己知道解答

其实你没有那么伟大

真的不需要那么想他

连之后的梦想

自己也可以抵达

谁说一定要有他

其实你没有那么爱他

没有深陷都不可自拔

人即若真心话

你就

放得下

深呼吸

抬头望发现天空很宽广

这世界那么大

幸福总会在某个地方

其实你没有那么伟大

真的不需要那么想他

拥有过的计划

留给值得的对象

你知道不会是他

其实你没有那么爱他

没有深陷都不可自拔

人即若真心话你就放得下

if only i can do do whats in the song. when can i ever learn to treat u like a stranger, like you ought to be. todays a sucky day, so heres a sad song to cap it all off.

Common Test 2

2006-07-01T03:12:00.000-07:00

hmp. looks like everyone has posted their post-ct2 feelings. guess its my turn now. ct2 was on crap period man. its just funny about the fact that no matter how much time you are given to study, its just never enuff. look at ct1, i had one WEEK. i found myself racing against time just to finish my revision. look at ct2, i had one MONTH. i found myself racing against time just to finish my revision. yet again ...

well, as for the ct2s, lets go paper by paper. Maths was crap. i came out of the exam hall feeling like i could solve a lot more of the qns that i actually did when i was in there. feeling very regretful that i didnt maximise my revision and racked my brains hard enuff. i think i very dui bu qi mr low. i seriously dun tink i can reach an a lar. but its not impt lor. at a lvls more impt :P:P ...

second paper was g.p . woah. i official declare this the paper of the ct2s man. i managed to flop it so spectacularly that i cant believe it man. i came so close to sleeping during the compre section man. one word to rule it all = "flopped".

third was econs. econs was ok lar. but thats why im scared. everytime i feel ok about a humanities paper, the results get screwed. hmp. nothing much to say about it.

fourth was chem. chem was bad. i screwed up. esp the mcq. nothing to say.

fifth was physics. wah. i love the way mike tay bluffed the crap out of us when he said it was going to be a managable paper. and he actually implemented a foreit system knowing that. act. this is one paper that can screw up (other than g.p) . yeah. im so going to get screwed this time.

hmp. haizzz. my life sux. now i cant play and i dun feel like mugging. crap. end here.

`one day i will learn how to... now i can only bear with it...

Missing You ...

2006-06-06T01:17:00.000-07:00

You`re looking for something you can`t find

If you give it up, you`ll lose your mind

There's always something in your way

You`re looking for something you can`t find

If you give it up, you`ll lose your mind

There`s alway something in your way

What can you say?

Fucked up CIP ...

2006-06-05T08:02:00.000-07:00

just came back from the ntu atc cip ... let me sum up the fabulous things and wonderful activities that i did for the two days of cip into two simple words ... its just plain wonderful how two simple words can describe all the wonderful experiences i have had for this cip ... the two simple words are "carrying canoes" ... and an apt alternative is "fucked up" ...

saturday was tough yet bearable ... we had plenty of slacking time in between each lorry that came that we had to unload canoes from ... so the whole day was pretty much carry canoe-slack-carry canoe-slack and so on ... we were still relatively fresh (after all its the 1st day) and so the whole process was relatively bearable ... but the food really sucked ... omg ... it got to be the worse kind of food i ever tried ... the only reason i finished the food was so as not to waste food ... my np "training" made my unwilling to waste the food leh ... so i just forced-swallow the food ...

the best of the cip came today on monday ... wow ... the first fucked-up thing of the day started when they passed the word to report 8 am to tampines the day before ... so we made preparations to do so ... little did we expect to wake up early next morning to get a rude wake up shock ... they changed the reporting place to pasir ris 9 am ... and i read the msg at 7 am ... wtf ... so i had to made abrupt changes in meeting with mf ... ok at this point of time must appologise to mf for making him go negative displacement to meet me ... but so we arrived at pasir ris late ...

upon reaching there ... we were told to load the canoes on the lorries and we had to spilt into two grps in which one grp (me raymond hw) will go to kallang the water sports centre there and return the nus equipment ... its a tough job having to carry the canoes and wash them ... we spend a damn long time there washing the canoes and putting them on the approprate racks ... we were so damn tired when we returned to pasir ris that we were treated to another round of the wonderful food provided for us ... being both hungry and tired ... we just wolfed down the food ... simply ignoring taste ...

the second trip was to srjc ... nothing much as we (me yushu prak mf) did the same thing we did everywhere ... carry canoes ... wtf ... but at least i got to see the srjc compound ... which i have NEVER seen before ... got to only the canteen part of the school though ...

the 3rd trip was the best part of the day ... its was to return the canoes to the SAF Yatch Club ... so we had 3 lorries full of canoes that we had to return ... me yushu prak mf took one lorry while haowen raymond took the other ... so when we reached the place we told the driver that we will be leaving our belongings on the lorry ... as we were told the lorry would let us off at some mrt later on since the place was relatively ulu ... then we "happily" went about our usual routine of carrying canoes ... when we finally finished moving all the canoes (must have been 50+) and though we could finally change and go have dinner ... the stupid driver had apparently driven off his lorry with our belongings in it ... wtf ... i had only my wallet with me ... my bag stayed with yushu mf and prak's bags - on the lorry ... wtf ... all our valuables were on the lorry lar ... by the time we realised it ... he had apparently driven to expo where the lorries were parked (according to the other driver) ...

this whole paragraph will be dedicated to the stupid driver ... i mean he is really very irresponsible ... he just though of going home and sleep ... he doesnt even care about how WE will get home without our valuables ... so the ntu guy chong meng went to call their office and demanded for the valuables ... the office promised us that they will send him back with our belongings ... so we happily waited for the whole damn fucking lot of 1.5 hrs ... we waited like idiots for the driver who never came ... that faggot off-ed his phone and we had no means of contacting him thru the office ... wat a fucker ... so the ntu guys (two guys - chong meng and someone who i didnt know the name of) ... anyway they went all the way to changi expo where their office was to collect our bags from the lorry (the stupid driver went back to leave his keys with the office) ... and delivered it all the way to sun plaza where we were waiting ... wanna really thank them mah ... they were really great people ... sacrificing dinner for us (they had atc debrief later) ... and lending us money for dinner without having much themselves (in fact zero after lending us) ...

after today ... i learned many lessons ... first and foremost ... it is to never trust someone just based on apperances ... the driver who we at first though was a nice guy as he seemed friendly turned out to be the mega-fucker of the century ... the second and last is NEVER to sign up for any such cip anymore ... esp those that severely lack manpower (like this one) ... the problem with stan chart was poor manpower allocation ... the problem with atc is that they had NO manpower to allocate ...

Back to the past ...

2006-05-31T08:25:00.000-07:00

sometimes i think ... was life back in cat high better or is life now in nj better ... guess theres no definite answer to this qns ... recently was too engrossed in life in nj that this qns didnt came to my mind for quite some time ... but it came flying back when i went back to cat high today ... i realised how much i missed life in cat high ... its so different from life in nj ... much much more different ... especially when mr low and mr azman said their speeches for the pop concert ... they mentioned something like "always part of np" and how 4 years pass by so quickly ... i cant agree more with that ... i guess its always the case of what we cant treasure what we own ... we need to lose it to realise how much it means to us ... really ... when the pop parade was going on ... i flashed back to the time when i was one of the cadets marching in the parade ...

i noe my squad isnt perfect ... i noe we have our divisions and our spilts ... but we will always be part of the 25th batch no matter where we go ... we will never be seperate from this part of ourselves ... we will always be members of a organisation called CHSNPCC ... i not only miss np but life in cat high ... those were the days ... they were hard but they were happy ones ... but with the usual ups and downs lar ... but i miss cat high ... i really do ...

i cant say im not happy in nj ... in fact im really happy there ... i cant have hoped for a better class and classmates ... they really made jc life so enjoyable ... but jc life is so much more mugging and mugging ... contrary to what my frenz believe ... i dun like mugging ... i study because i have to ... i get tired too ... i get sick of struggling too ... most importantly ... i get tired of you too ... very tired ...

well ... its a sad entry on my part ... but dun feel too depressed like me ... ur life got to be better then mine ... so cheers and enjoy ur life too :):) ... cyaz ...

` dont wanna think about you ...

sad sad

2006-05-25T06:06:00.000-07:00

i give up too ...

Sick day ...

2006-05-11T22:09:00.000-07:00

well ... im sick ... its supposed to be a bad situation ... but come to tink of it ... there are pros and cons ... but rather its just trying to make a bad thing seem better ...

started feeling sick yesterday ... got a sore throat early in the morning ... but i tot everything will be fine if i just skip cutlet ... but its steadily got worse ... i slept through like all the lessons ... including the one which the principal was sitting in ... must first appologise to all my teachers for sleeping in their class ... was really damn tired ... so by the time it was lunch ... i didnt even feel like eating ... so i headed straight to class and sleep on ... by the time it was civics ... i just decided to get a blue slip (which turned out to be white due to the lack of blue paper) ... and head home ...

at home ... i thought i should just take two panadol and sleep through then should be fine le ... but turns out ... when it was around night time i was shivering like crap ... so my mum insisted on going to the doctor ... despite having been there less than a week ago for sore eyes ... by that time i had headache sore throat naseaum body ache shivers ... she took my temperature and found out i got a faver of 38.7 degress celcuis ... wah ... she then prescriped the largest quantity of medicine i ever seen in my life :(:( ... she even suggested injection to keep the fever down ... luckily i say dun wan ... needle-phobic me :(:( ...

and now ... im quite ok lar ... except that my tinking is made very slow due to drowsy medicine ... and i still have a pretty bad sore throat ... just wanna thank all those who have showed me concern ... thanks a lot :):) ...

` you are my superstar

Long time le ...

2006-05-06T05:11:00.000-07:00

yeah !!! ... i finally managed to gather enuff determination to blog le ... its such a long hiatus (trying to be cheem her) since i last blogged ... but well ... im finally here ... blog is a online diary ... diary mention current events ... so i shall go on to talk about the hottest current affairs !!! ...

the top of the the list got to be the amazing revelations by our dear physics tutor mike tay ... wow ... heres a simple summary to mike tay and his amazing jc love life story ... "I'm hot and i have many gfs ... and i multi-time them !!!" ... well ... he basically went on to mention how he had 3 gfs at the same time in jc and 3 timing them ... sadly ... they all came to the same sad ending ... the clashing of the two strangers ... imagine them going ... "Who are you ??? " "I'm his gf lar ... Who are you ???" "I'm also his gf" ... and he went on to talk about one-night stands ... pardon me but they make me cringe ... but the conclusion ... i dun tink his lying lar ... coz why would he want to lie about such things ... and come up with such a incredible one sumore ... so i believe him lar ... but i dun tink i support the multi-timing part ... its crap to do that ...

what else ??? ... i want to say something about the girls dislike for a certain teacher ... to be from a very very very objective view ... i tend to feel slightly like the girls lar ... but the thing is ... i cant come to a conclusion ... im ok with him on the whole lar ... but thats because im a guy mah ... so i cant say for the girls ... but i do hope their differences can be ironed out soon ...

hmp ... a pretty down point of the week was that chemistry spa skill a got a bit of a screw-up ... so im hoping it will be pretty minor ...

ok ... so now ... its back to quantum physics !!! ... yeah !!! (like real) ... at least its do-able yar ... k ... so i bet the next post will be a damn long time away ... but i do try u noe ...

` i dont want to feel the way i that i do ... missing you ...

Untitled

2006-03-22T04:57:00.000-08:00

well ... to sum it all up ... i feel like crap now ... dun ask me why ... it could be due to a couple of reasons ... it could be due to be the flopped-up cts ... it could due to this and that ... it could be due to many things ... i dunno ... i just know i feel like crap ...

lets address the various issues ... i just read yushu's blog ... i noe mr low will also be disappointed in me ... coz i crapped up the maths paper ... i dunno where i went wrong ... i just get this feeling that i messed up big time ... no matter how u look ... my script just doesnt look like a A/B script ... i dunno ... i dun wan to let anyone down ... i just dont want to make anyone disappointed in me ...

and the worse thing is that ... maths is not the only subject i screwed up in ... in fact ... i screwed up every single paper i sat for ... i dunno why too ... this round of cts is just plainly screwed up ... i disppointed all who had hopes on me ... sry to them ... its just that im too much of a loser ...

i dun wan to whine like a whiner everytime it comes to this ... i noe what i have to do ... yet im reluctant to do it ... its almost like im spilt into two opposing me ... its time to let go of false notions ... dreams only occur in dreamland ... wake up and move on ... like the movie said ... destiny is not a simple thing that can be understood easily ... heck whatever ... whining certianly wun help ... so what to do ??? ...

noting how im so crapped up now ... i dunno what else lies ahead ... now its about finishing the physics spa skill a on friday ... and give myself a much deserved rest ... rest of things can wait ... no point asking for asnwers to qns that will never have a answer ...

2006-03-14T04:39:00.000-08:00

i wish

wish for you on a falling star

wondering where you are

暧昧 ..

2006-03-10T05:36:00.000-08:00

曲名：暧昧歌手：杨丞琳

暧昧让人受尽委屈
找不到相爱的证据
何时该前进何时该放弃
连拥抱都没有勇气

只能陪你到这里
毕竟有些事不可以
超过了友情还不到爱情
远方就要下雨的风景

到底该不该哭泣
想太多是我还是你
我很不服气也开始怀疑
眼前的人是不是同一个真实的你

暧昧让人受尽委屈
找不到相爱的证据
何时该前进
何时该放弃
连拥抱都没有勇气

暧昧让人变得贪心
直到等待失去意义
无奈我和你
写不出结局
放遗憾的美丽
停在这里

Giving it all up ...

2006-03-08T05:09:00.000-08:00

just felt like posting something today ... may sound abstract ... so dun bother to try and read ...

lets just say life is an equation ... there are many variables in it ... the variables do what variables should do and vary ... and it has always been this way for some time ... but the thing is ... this equation gets more complicated and even more variables pop out ... because of the nature of the equation where the right hand side is a constant ... so as some variables increase ... other variables must definately decrease ... so now ... its has come to the point where some variables have decreased to the point where it is almost neglicable ... damn small ... so the equation is more or less without that particular variable ... so its better off if the variable was PERMANENTLY removed from this equation ... permanent in every sense of the word ... although the particular variable might not want to be removed from the equation ... its better then letting it become useless when one variable and the constant on the right hand side merge to become a single term ... so its the best long term solution to this equation ...

after all that much equations i want to redefine my life now YL's life = Mug + Eat + Sleep + (sometimes soccer) ... nothing else ... now that the common tests are like round the corner ... i should like go to mug now ... which i am going to ... all the best to everyone for the coming cts !!! ...

Lazy old me ...

2006-03-04T04:10:00.000-08:00

okie ... i noe im being lazy again ... but i too lazy to type out one full post lor ... so i just chose one song to reflect on my mood ... some parts of the lyrics are unrelated ... some are related ... anyway heres untitled by simple plan ...

Untitled - Simple Plan

I open my eyes

I try to see but I'm blinded by the white light

I can't remember how

I can't remember why

I'm lying here tonight

And I can't stand the pain

And I can't make it go away

No I can't stand the pain

Chorus:

How could this happen to me

I've made my mistakes

Got no where to run

The night goes on

As I'm fading away

I'm sick of this life

I just wanna scream

How could this happen to me

Everybody's screaming

I try to make a sound but no one hears me

I'm slipping off the edge

I'm hanging by a thread

I wanna start this over again

So I try to hold onto a time when nothing mattered

And I can't explain what happened

And I can't erase the things that

I've done No I can't

How could this happen to me

I've made my mistakes

Got no where to run

The night goes on

As I'm fading away

I'm sick of this life

I just wanna scream

How could this happen to me

I've made my mistakes

Got no where to run

The night goes on

As I'm fading away

I'm sick of this life

I just wanna scream

How could this happen to me

Far away ...

2006-02-24T05:46:00.000-08:00

Far Away

This time, This place
Misused, Mistakes
Too long, Too late
Who was I to make you wait
Just one chance
Just one breath
Just in case there’s just one left
‘Cause you know,
you know, you know

That I love you
I have loved you all along
And I miss you
Been far away for far too long
I keep dreaming you’ll be with me
and you’ll never go
Stop breathing if
I don’t see you anymore

On my knees, I’ll ask
Last chance for one last dance
‘Cause with you, I’d withstand
All of hell to hold your hand
I’d give it all
I’d give for us
Give anything but I won’t give up
‘Cause you know,
you know, you know

That I love you
I have loved you all along
And I miss you
Been far away for far too long
I keep dreaming you’ll be with me
and you’ll never go
Stop breathing if
I don’t see you anymore

So far away
Been far away for far too long
So far away
Been far away for far too long
But you know, you know, you know

I wanted
I wanted you to stay
‘Cause I needed
I need to hear you say
That I love you
I have loved you all along
And I forgive you
For being away for far too long
So keep breathing
‘Cause I’m not leaving
Hold on to me and
never let me go

Crapped up week ...

2006-02-22T05:15:00.000-08:00

ok lemme tell you how much of a crapped up week this is ... but its so crapped up that i dun wanna talk about it ... zzz ... flopped maths test ... flopped spa ... yawnzzz ... life just kind of sux sometimes ... im lazy and have no time to blog more ... so i will leave a song's lyrics down ... coz its apt and nice ... cyaz ...

"Obviously"

Recently I've been,

Hopelessly reaching

Out for this girl,

Who's out of this world.

Believe me.

She's got a boyfriend

He drives me round the bend

Cos he's 23 He's in the marines

He'd kill me

But so many nights now

I find myself thinking about her now.

'Cause obviously,

She's out of my league

But how can I win

She keeps draggin' me in and

I know I never will be good enough for her.

No, no

Never will be good enough for her.

Gotta escape now

Get on a plane now. yeah

Off to L.A and that's where I'll stay, for two years.

I'll put it behind me(i'll put it behind me)

Go to a place where she cant find me. yeah.

'Cause obviously,

She's out of my league,

I'm wastin' my time

'Cause she'll never be mine

I know i never will be good enough for her.

No, no

Never will be good enough for her

She's outta my hands

And I never know where I stand

Cos I'm not good enough for her

He's good enough for her (for her, for her)

'Cause obviously,

She's out of my leeague,

I'm wastin' my time

'Cause she'll never be mine

I know i never will be good enough for her.

No, no

Never will be good enough for her

Remember the Name

2006-02-17T05:00:00.000-08:00

all my class mates haved used this on their blog lar ... so i tink i just follow suit ... and seriously the song is quite nice ... copyrights to zx who discovered this first ...

10% Luck

20% Skill

15% Concetrated power of will

5% Pleasure

50% Pain...

and a 100% reason to remember you.

enjoy =)=) ...

V-Day Soon ...

2006-02-10T06:17:00.000-08:00

hmp ... v-day is just around the corner ... i wan to talk about my love life (or rather a lack of one) ... but seriously ... being a relationship now isnt all that great either ... this judging from my frens arnd encountering relationship problems ... cant say im nt relived that im nt involved in any relationship ... of course ... this could be a lame excuse for being nt attractive enuff ... well ... i cant argue against that ... so maybe i start by answering qns ...

now ... qns of the year ... fel's favourite qns ... assuming she reads my blog ... im giving her the answer to the same old qns she keeps asking ... and for her benefit ... i gif her the answer in pt form ... for easy reference ...

no reason
no reason
no reason
no reason
no reason
no reason

ending off here ... i wanna wish all my friends a happy v-day in advanced ... and for thsoe who are sad ... cheer up ... for those who are not ... stay happy ... life is short ... better to spend it in happiness ...

Sorry about me ...

2006-01-13T18:05:00.000-08:00

basically ... im here to brush off some dust off my blog ... who im afraid im neglecting so far ... i am very tired as i type this ... so i will try to make everything short and sweet ... the main purpose of this post is to talk fuck about how useless i am ... so skip this if u will ... if u are going on a blog hopping spree ...

well ... orientation concluded yesterday night ... with a bang ... dance party 2006 was more or less the same as last year ... so it was pretty ok ... but the thing is that ... i feel i am so useless ... i dunno why i feel this way ... but its the way i feel ... maybe its because im nt as close to my og as i tink i shld or whatever ... its just that i feel useless ... fullstop ... im nt even sure if i had performed to my best ... whatever is the case ... the minimum is that i had TRIED ... if im nt good enough ... that i just have to accept that fact ... im just wanna say sorry to people in og 9 and 06s15 for being a less then perfect ogl ...

well ... i could not go for the Aqua outing today ... that's wat makes me feel so damn useless ... just when everyone is slogging hard to make the outing a success ... im fucking at home ... i dunno what the fuck is wrong with my mom ... she refuses to let me out even when i re-emphasize countless times the importance of this event to my house ... im argued until im sick of it totally ... theres simply no point in arguing with someone that doesnt understand reason ... im sorry to letting my fellow aqua ogls down ... im sorry im such a useless fuck ... im sorry for everything ...

sometimes i just think back about cat high days ... and note how much simplier lfie was back then ... life was basically about np mugging playing and escaping from the dm ... in jc now ... its no longer the case ... theres a new variable in the equation ... and theres no hiding from it ... i dun wan to feel the way i feel ... i just wanna mug play sleep ... nothing else ... just like someone in a jap anime (bleach) said ... emotions are useless feelings ... i want to rid myself of useless emotions and become a mugger ... period ...

before i end this post ... i wan to appologise once again to all the aqua ogls ... for not being able to be there for the outing ... as well as all others who have had to put up with the stupid and useless fuck that is me ... im sorry for everything that i have done that i shld be sorry about ... im useless and so im shall be the fuck that i am ... sorry once again ...

Happy New Year !!!

2005-12-31T08:02:00.000-08:00

yeah ... im accurate according to the coundown show on tv (ignore the one show below) ... its now officially 2006 ... as least for my part of the world ... ok ... now that is the new yr ... i should be happy !!! ... i should say im delighted that its a new yr ... a brand new yr ... abet fraught with endless mugging and challenges ... but all i have to say ... is that regardless ... we just have to ride it out ... all the best ppl !!! ...

oh yar .. forgot to remind u guys ... theres a pre-2006 post below ... be sure to read it k ??? ... bhb of me ... but i just saw fireworks from my balcony !!! ... seriously ... although i dunno where its from ... its FIREWORKS !!! ... new yr ahead ... anticipation and hesitation ... sad that i had to cross over with a sore throat ... but lets hope the coming ur will be good for me and good for everyone !!! ...

ok ... lets not drag on ... hmp ... lest just say i got lots of hope for this coming yr ... and i just hope that lady luck can like be a bit more kinder to me ... and make this a smashing great yr of 2006 ... ok ... maybe all wishes come thru and once again ... HAPPY NEW YR ppl !!! ...

Soon to be New Year ...

2005-12-31T07:51:00.000-08:00

ok ... im "goping" this idea from joyce ... now its a couple of minutes til the new year of 2006 comes by ... just called a couple of the new ppl coming to nj nxt yr ... sadly ... all sounded like english speaking ppl even though they are from schools like rv ... anyway ... its like a bit too late and tiring to start stating my new yr resolution now ... so i just briefly go through it i guess ...

now commenting on that previous post ... i conclude in life ... not everything goes ur way ... but even if it almost NEVER goes your way ... u have to accept it and move on ... what else ??? ... theres nothing u can do ... just accept fate and move on ... seriously ... i have been doing so much of it ... but heck and act. ...

ok i better speed up ... its going to be new yr soon ... well ... i hope to do well for all school examinations and for my a-levels ... and i hope to be able to play hard and mug hard ... and ... and ... maybe get a girlfriend ... ok that was crap ... since when did ppl wish for such things for the new yr ... act. ... accept fate again yar ... i also wan to cherish the last yr i have at nj with my classmates and other friends in nj ... time is running short and ns looms ahead ... i wanna enjoy every last possible moment with them ...

hmp ... what else ??? ... erh ... best of health to everyone and be happy always ... orientation is coming up soon ... well ... lets all hope it will be a great and resounding success !!! ... we all have worked hard and stuff ... so lets hope everything pays off ... way to go ppl ... soon Happy New Year ppl ... its before 1200 !!! ... cyaz in seconds ...

Sad Sad Sad Life

2005-12-30T21:04:00.000-08:00

seriously ... i tink i have a very sad life ... well ... i guess i will start whining again ... so pls avoid this post if u are not in the mood to hear pesstimistic and random ranting on New Year Eve ... seriously ... i noe its bad for health to do such a thing on the verge of a new year ... but who cares ...

well ... since im in a crapping mood ... lets just start ... lets just say i simply miss meeting the right ppl at the right time ... or even completely miss meeting them ... that just kind of suck ... well ... just blame in on luck then ... its just completely crapped ... seriously ... if its one time or what ... ok lor ... but its EVERYTIME ... yawnzzz ... bad crap ... act. ... i shld just be contented to fuck off and live off my fucked up life alone ...

ok ... guess i will just end here ... sry for the gloomy post ... maybe i will post up something more cheerful later on ... Happy New Year's Eve .. ppl ... !!! ... cyaz ...

New Post ...

2005-12-16T23:35:00.000-08:00

im blogging now because it has been a long time since i blogged ... and i feel bad about creating a blog and yet not blogging in it ... and also yushu called me to blog ... im sry but u haf to be disappointed ... theres not going to be a mention of 442 in this entry anyway ... sry for the absence from blogging ... was just too lazy ... zZzZ ...

ok ... went to watch king kong yesterday ... all the rave reviews about it and stuff ... i got to say its a good movie on the whole ... but its no FANTASTIC ... the way LOTR would be ... i would like it 4/5 ... its a 3 whole hour movie ... but luckily didnt have any "high flow volume" ... so i managed to watch from start to end ... ehrm ... i supposed the movie would be much more enjoyable if you were not the insensitive bastard that i am ... some people said the movie was touching ... i suppose it is ... but im just not the easily touched person i guess ...

ok ... next pt is that im in dire straits now ... school is like opening in 2 weeks ... and i still have lots and lots and lots of homework left undone ... ok this is bad ... i seriously think i have to work doubly hard to finish my work ... theres so much ... haizzz ...

last pt ... i tink im a fucking hypocrite ... it just that many times ... i do not let how i really feel show ... coz i noe its not acceptable ... im not acting the way i want to act ... im acting because i have to act ... i dunno whats right to tink anymore ... im just so fucking sick of what i want ... maybe its better to live for others then to live for yourself ... i dunno ... im confused ... im lost ... and i dun see how this is going to get better ...

ok ... this is the end of this miserable post ... i just wanna get rid of what i dun want myself to feel ... crap of a life ... i both want and dun want to forget ... but im sure i dun wan to find myself falling to the same crap time and time again ... but im powerless to do so ... its crap ... sry for the excessive use of vulgar languages ... real sry ...

Birthday & CIP

2005-12-04T07:01:00.000-08:00

yar ... cip finally ended ... after 6 long days at suntec expo hall 603 - sports and fitness expo ... im really tired now ... 6 days of 11 pm - 7 am sleep coupled on with the tiring work at the expo ... sux pretty bad ... but i must do my dear classmates some justice ... coz they made the effort to make my bday a happy and eventful one ...

yar ... once again i wanna thank my dear classmates for celebrating my bday with me ... i absolutely loved every single moment of that day ... the cake and the gift and the bday songs ... everything ... thanks a lot ppl ... will love u guyz always ... *so mushy* ... but really ... its from the bottom of my heart *abet shallow :P:P* ...

and now ... let me move on to the expo ... i wan to firstly start with the fucking complain of the ssc ... it stands for singapore stan**** cha****... i wan to first state that my complains have no connection to the volunteers of ssc ... they are all nice ppl who have worked hard for the fucking organisation ... but the losers that are the management of the ssc ... especially nwahs ... that guy is a big time loser ... i could keep ranting on and on ... but only people who have met him would noe ...

on the other hand ... i must say i had a great time with suntec integrated media ... the volunteers and full time staff there are great people ... i must said i learned a lot and gained invaluable experince from my time there ... thank you all of you :):) ...

finally ... happy birthday to someone ...

Yawnzzz ... lol ...

2005-11-22T05:50:00.000-08:00

THREE WAYS TO ENJOY A OPTIMAL EXPERIENCE WHEN WATCHING HP & THE G.O.F

1) DO NOT BUY A LARGE COKE BEFORE YOU ENTER THE CINEMA

2) DO NOT BUY A LARGE COKE BEFORE YOU ENTER THE CINEMA

3) DO NOT BUY A LARGE COKE BEFORE YOU ENTER THE CINEMA

Moral of the story: DO NOT BUY A LARGE COKE BEFORE YOU ENTER THE CINEMA

p.s. for ppl who dunno why ... hp happens to be a 2 and a half hour long movie ... so when u drink sho much ... it ends up *somewhere* ... and for me ... it so happens that during the part of the 3rd task of the tri wizard tournament ... i was feeling sho bloated ... omg ... enuff of that ... it was a pretty enjoyable movie on the whole ...

went to watch with xm and zr ... the only two who were fellow laggers in watching hp and were nice enuff to not make me go watch alone ... thanks arh ... well ... the movie was pretty nice again ... but there were parts that i like and didnt like ... hmp ... here goes ...

i) the headmaster seems more like a clown then a headmaster

i dunno why i feel that way ... but i tink its because of a new actor (or am i mistaken) ... he just doesnt emit that sort of headmaster-ish air ... he seems more like a clown leh ... the previous actor got this aura lar ... makes u feel like he is indeed the headmaster yar ... but well ... he did put in a great effort yar ...

ii) there are lots of chio bus in hp

really lor ... lets name a few ... cho chang hermione fleur fleur's sis ... and ginny's got above average looks ... wah kow ... very eyedazzling yar ... lol ... must said i had a good time ... but no lar ... looks arent all impt u noe ...

iii) the pace was pretty ok

hmp ... it is compared to the previous movie ... hp and the poa ... wah kow ... that one jumped here jumped there ... until i also lost ... come on man ... this one was much better ... lol ... but im sure it would be better if all the sub plots and stuff where added in ... but well ... the whole story is just too long ... hmp ... but it was enjoyable on the whole ...

yawnzzz ... enuff of hp mania ... lol ... hmp ... 2ml is chalet le ... hope it will be fun yar ... hmp ... im sure it will be fun !!! ... lol ... then so long yar ...

Start of the mugging season ...

2005-11-09T17:43:00.000-08:00

hmp ... i had intially planned to do maclaurin's series today one ... and here i am ... sitting in front of my comp and with my lecture notes and tutorial and a full scape pad in front of my comp ... im well aware that its not exactly the best way to study ... but from the last few days ... i have grown so attached to my comp ... that i dun wan to leave it alone ... lol ... erh ... im quite sad to say that i still dun get the whole concept of maclaurin's series (im typing the name from my notes coz i still DUNNO HOW TO SPELL ITS NAME) ... shows a lot about my understanding of this topic ...

hmp ... and my msn messenger is not working ... aarrrggghhh ... its just keeps signing off on its own accord ... and its hard to get it to work properly ... i might have to restart my comp for it to function properly ... but not that it matters anyway ... theres like not many people online anyway ... i tink im going to go off in a couple of minutes to go mug le ... it has got to start sooner of later man ... looking back on my results ... still have to mug ...

hmp ... on a ending note ... i wanna wish all the people who have not finished their OPs ... the best of luck for their upcoming OPs ... just stay calm and cool ... then should be ok le !!! ... and i wanna wish all the snrs who are talking their a lvls now good luck too ... ehrm ... just do your best and put all that u all have learned into good use ... and you guyz shld be fine !!! ... ok ... good luck to everyone !!! ... including myself !!! ... i need lots of luck now u noe ... lol ... considering my complete lack of luck in many areas ...

Life after OP ...

2005-11-09T05:39:00.000-08:00

hmp ... great news yar ... i finished OP today !!! ... this means i have come to the end of the whole PW curriculum ... it also means i will not have to do pw anymore !!! ... no more late nights to do wr (its more of a morning as it was finished at 4.30 am) ... no more endless rehearshing of the OP script ... its all over !!! ... i mean yar ... i feel so free and happy now you noe ... PW sux ... most people will argee with me ... well ... im just glad its over lar ... i dunno about what sorts of results i will be getting for pw though ... but its all out of my control now ... no point worrying about things that cannot be changed ... for now ... just enjoy post-pw life :):) ...

hmp ... OP today was so damn interesting ... the skit went well ... the presenation (my part) went ok lar ... i stuttered a bit at times ... lol ... but the Q & A was the interesting part man ... 4 out of the 5 qns they asked us ... we had spotted correctly and had prepared for the qns well ... so when asked the qns ... we gave them textbook answers ... talk about cool ... esp james who mentioned all the weird terminology ... lol ... well i has the slight misfortune of being the one who was asked the totally unexpected question ... lol ... well i tried my best and crapped out a substantial amount of stuff ... i shld be ok lar ... lol ...

hmp ... after pw went to watch tom yam goong with zx james hw wr adi ... lol ... its was a damn nice movie lar ... its the type of low on plot high on action film lar ... but seeing the lead actor executing all the cool moves ... and promptly breaking limbs off the villianous sidekicks ... wow ... no wonder it got a nc-16 rating lar ... but its really worth the ticket price ... but ONLY GUYS ... i doubt girls would like to watch such stuff anyway lar ... lol ... yar ... it was a rather fun day today after all ... lol ... kk ... i ending here le ... cyaz soon ... lol ...

Blog Blog Blog ...

2005-11-02T18:18:00.000-08:00

well ... just came online to do my i and r ... got to say now is not my most productive time of the day ... well ... got stuck doing i and r ... creative juices just not flowing eh ... oh well ... later the guyz and one girl (lol) ... are coming over to do pw ... well ... lol ... cant say im looking forward to pw lar ... but im sure looking forward to 2ml ... kind of packed with activites ... but if i dun relax now ... next year will be one hell of a exhusting year ... and the year after next isnt better ... got to go into ns ... oh well ... so lets play now !!! ... ok ... randomness ... arghargh ... just hate pw ... it sux to the core ...
well ... i tink its time to start studying soon yar ... hate to do it ... but its a must ... since theres like so much to cover ... if i start too late ... next year ... will die de ... haizzz ... kk back to i and r le ... cyaz ... bb ... bye ...

2005-10-29T07:25:00.000-07:00

Take The Quiz Yourself!

New Blog Skin New Post

2005-10-28T23:51:00.000-07:00

well ... this is a brand new post in a brand new blog skin ... i kind of think this one is cool ... okok ... chanced upon it when i was searching for bleach blog skins ... it on rukia from bleach ... and i just tink the bg image rox !!! ... well it might be personal ... but thats not the point ... lol ... well ... theres still quite a lot to do to make the new blog skin complete ...
theres always the problem of the bg song ... still searching for a online song that i can source to ... kind of hard to find one ... but i just got one i tink ... shall go change it later ... hope it works out ... then theres the like and hates part ... cant seem to tink of things that i like or hate ... well ... cant be helped ... shall go try tink of something later ... or simply delete that part then ...
there still the need to go host the blog pic myself ... im kind of lazy to do that ... but it has to be done sometime soon ... if not im scared the display pic might be offline ...
well ... moving on to pw ... still got lots to do man ... it just never seems to end ... does it ??? ... i haven gotten so sick with it man ... just cant wait til it ends ... damnit ... haizzzz ... lol ... meanwhile ... i just have to go on with it ... sianzzz ...
then on a more general note ... lets talk about my life ... but well ... let do it in a short and sweet manner shall we ??? ... lest it drags on and on ... well ... 2 words is enough .... "Screwed Up" ... im like not going to elaborate on it ... since that will be defeating the whole meaning of "short and sweet" ...
well ... if u just noticed ... this whole post is crap and more crap ... well ... im being random ... and more random ... and even more random ... well ... welcome to my life :):) ... kk ... end here leh ... and plunge into pw liao ... so long ... cyaz ... :):) ...

Confused ...

2005-10-26T05:12:00.000-07:00

well ... was actually thinking of hiding this somewhere offline or under password protected areas ... but cant be bothered with it ... it doesnt matter if anyone sees this or what ... or spread to the whole damn world or what ... or like go tell her ... doesnt matter anyway ... since shes not interested .... she probably wun care ... well Option 3 then ...
im actually regretting every single keystroke in the last sentence ... but it has to be done ... if i dun tell myself that ... i will still be wandering in nothingless ... always carrying that false hope ... i noe better then to do that ... but what can i do ... everytime i though i managed to pluck myself up ... i tumble down directly again ... i dunno whats wrong lar ... i just noe im so damn screwed ...
haizzz ... theres really like no way i can do anything ... i need ppl to teach me what to do ... cause im at a loss ... at a total loss ... i wan to give up ... and want to try at the same time ... what u expect me to do ??? ... i cant do this ... i cant do that ... well ... theres only 1 way left ... the way called the exit ... cant be that well to do more le ... ok ... gtg le ... dunno what else to say ... i just wanted an avenue to crap out stuff ... and just didnt want to bother my friends too much ...

Tired whilst blogging ...

2005-10-14T05:14:00.000-07:00

haizzz ... just came back from student helpers duty ... must say im really^infinity tired ... today was a real burnout day man ... starting early in the morning was major energy burner no. 1 ... playing soccer with s03 ... oh man ... they had 3 soccer players as compared to our 1 soccer player which was dear value-added raymond ... well ... just imagine all the running i had to do to cover the two constant threats to our goal ... i didnt play well ... committed some of the usual mistakes ... and i just could not gauge where the ball would bounce properly ... well ... we lost in the end ... but im sure it was a good lesson for the class :):) ...

well ... next MAX-burning activity is Outdoor Performance Duty ... that was the ultimate man ... if it was the same as usual ... it would still be ok ... sad thing is ... ITS NOTHING LIKE USUAL ... all of a sudden it started raining ... and somehow or another ... the drain at the linkway got choked ... so water started to seep out from the inadequately drained drain ... and it started to FLOOD !!!! ... oh my ... when i noticed it flooding ... there was already like so much water lar ... i started damage control by helping gu zheng get their stuff out of the water ... then somehow or another i grabbed a mob and started pushing water down to lower grounds ... as if to tell us to work harder ... IT RAINED EVEN MORE HEAVILY !!! ... oh my ... we were frantically trying ur best to divert water away from the flooded area ... and pa was trying to get their stuff away from the flooded area too ... lol ... it was a frenzy man ... nevertheless ... after much slogging and with help from angklung (i will nv say anything bad bout angklung again :):) ) .... we managed to get most of the water out and keep the flooding under control ... it had stopped raining by then ... phew ... what a day !!! ...

well ... on the acdemic side ... today was a day of mixed results ... got back mcq for econs ... well it was bad ... dun wanna talk about it ... shall go off now ... damn tired now ... i tink its a bit of naruto and off to bed !!! ...

Haizzz ...

2005-10-07T05:25:00.000-07:00

My life now can be decribed in one phrase/word/expression ... "Haizzz" ... wth ... its after the promos now ... i should be happy and happy and even happier ... but wth ... im just not feeling happy ... in fact ... im like the direct opposite of happy ... i dunno why ... maybe its because of the promos ... maybe its because i got nothing to play ... maybe its because i have to do pw ... maybe its because i still have to go to school nxt week ... maybe its because of other things ... i dunno ... i just feel that i might never be learn to be happy ever again ...

promos is just so screwed up ... i dunno what to say ... the first up on the "Sure-Screw-List" is physics ... i dun want to talk about it ... lets just say i should be glad and grateful i can even scrape a 07 for it ... :(:( ... im screwed lar ... next up is econs ... i predict my marks would be between 1 - 100 ... but i am more inclined to believe that it will not be that good lar ... since i pratically screwed up ... for maths and chem should be able to scrape a pass lar ... gp leh ... who noes ... just hope can get promoted and keep 4As ... then i will contented liao ... haizzz ...

even after not blogging for so long ... i got nothing to say ... i guess nothing is much interesting about my sad life ... heck lar ... im just so tired ... end here now ... dun feel like blogging more ... sry guyz :(:( ...

Inspired to blog ...

2005-09-07T06:29:00.000-07:00

just kind of inspired to blog today ... for the times i have felt this dear blog to neglect ... lol ... am kind of proud of myself today ... today is like one of the most productive days i had in a long time :):) ... i finished analysis one and one-b tutorials !!! ... hehe ... maths is just so fun when u can do all the questions !!! ... i was just entertaining myself doing all the question ... but the same cannot be said of topics which you have problems with ... in that case ... maths becomes a DREADFUL TOPIC ... well ... im just so glad i spend time well today :):) ... so i though i will just give myself a well-deserved break and come blog now ... hehe ...

and today finally gathered enough self-discipline to make myself go down and jog ... lol ... stamina is real bad ... well ... need to train harder if i am going to pass napfa next year :):) ... haizzz ... and i witnessed a real funny scene when i was at the fitness corner near my block ... lol ... its real funny ... coz i went down early evening (about 4 -5 pm ???) ... and there was this elderly man with his 3 grandchildren ... the eldest was a boy ... followed by a girl and then another boy ... and they were playing at the fitness corner while i was slacking ...

then there came this part when the grandfather handed his eldest grandson a pack of biscuit ... the two younger one both wanted some ... so they crowded around him and kept repeating "I want i want i want !!!" ... trying to reach for it ... guess what happened next ??? ... the elder brother conviently ignored his sister's existance and tried to feed his younger brother a piece of biscuit ... in case you were wondering what was wrong in this situation ... YOU HAVE JUST PROVEN YOURSELF TO BE A MCP !!! ... well ... its not that i am a female activist or anything ... i just dun tink its fair that he deprived his younger sis a biscuit in a delibrate act of favourism ... his so MCP !!! ... well ... and to tink his sis is kind of adorable (ok ... this part is crap) ... if i was the one with the biscuit ... i wuld have told my brother to go away and gave my sis the biscuit ... its has nothing to do with whether the sis is cute or not ... its because my brother happens to be a pain in the arse ... i bolded and colored the "a pain in the arse " to increase its magnitude ... that tells you how lovable my brother is ... doesnt it ??? ...

and other thing that happened during the time ... was that the sister kept washing her hands using water from a water bottle ... and i say everytime ... i mean AFTER SHE TOUCHED ANYTHING ... what a clealiness intensive girl (p.s ... im just as quick to critise both female and male) ... and not only that ... she kept insisting her younger brother wash his hands from the bottle too ... a hint of maternality character ... lol ... but ... for the sake of singapore's future ... pls rmb to save water next time ... wasting clean portable water is defininately not the way to go ... education starts young ... why not now ??? ... lol .. i realise im so gu niang gossiping about ppl ... but just want to express my thoughts on the wacky antics of people arnd me :):) ... hope you dun mind :):) ...

hmp ... haizzz ... why am i still unable to forget ??? ... but at least its getting better ... at least the feeling of emptyness doesnt bug your every waking moment ... but i dunno if its because im slowly forgetting or just accepting ... but either way ... its hard to be contened with the status quo ... i dunno ... just wait til the promos end ... then make a decision ... however hard it may be ... but sooner or later ... it has and will be done ...

well ... theres econs 2ml ... shld be going to sleep early now ... but want to finish dling songs from fel ... on the same note ... must thank fel and mf for being my main english mp3 providers :):) ... without them ... i will still be cut off frm the wonderful world of english musics ... but i would like to stress ONE POINT ... i still prefer chinese songs coz i tink they are better ... but widing my music selection makes life more interesting ... and i tink im going off now ... hope 2ml will be as productive (if not more productive) then today !!! ... so long guyz ...

Arhggg ... Oh Man ...

2005-09-06T07:19:00.000-07:00

well ... you want to know what is one of the most frustrating things on the face of this earth ??? ... let me tell u ... its to complete a whole damn maths tutorial just to find out that your have been doing most of the qns using a WRONG method ... and because of that .... you have to re-do the WHOLE DAMN ASSIGNMENT again ... i feel like crashing my head into the wall nxt to me right now u noe ??? ... its just sux man ... now ... i have to burn midnight oil just to finish it :(:( ... i shudder at the though man ... haizzz ... wat to do ... life just sux :):) ... its ten-thirty now ... so i guess im going to work right after this then ...

let me tell you one of the greatest lie on the face of this earth ... that there are 4 periods of school holidays a year ... let me enlightened any lost souls out there ... there is ONLY ONE HOLIDAY in the whole year !!! ... and when u minus off all the time used to do holiday homework and other "non-holiday" stuff ... whats left its wat u throughly call a BREAK ... try to appeal to your conscience ... would you call time spend studying a holiday ??? ... i dun mean study for a while then go play ... I MEAN MUGGING !!! ... sitting for the WHOLE DAMN DAY in front of ur desk ... doing nothing else but study study study ... you wanna call that a holiday ??? ...

i tink i am beginning to see why they bothered to give holidays in the first place ... its to make sure you have SIMPLY NO REASON not too hand in your homework ... imagine a normal school day ....
Teacher: Why dont i see ur tutorial ??? *menancing look*
Student: Ehrm ... I reached home at 10 pm last night because i got CCA (can be replaced by any crap reason you can fathom) ...
now imagine coming back from a holiday break (like you had a decent BREAK anyway :(:( )
Teacher: Why dont i see ur tutorial ??? *menancing look*
Student: Ehrm ... ehrm ... erh ... *Wets his pants coz theres simply no reason to crap out* (P.S what u expect him to say ... "i didnt do your tut coz i was busy playing dota or going out with gf/bf or simply having the break we deserved")
Teacher: *smiles coz he knows he got the ultimate counter to any excuse * --> Ulitmate Counter --> "You got the whole HOLIDAY and you tell me you cant finish your tutorial ??!?!?!?"
in this case ... no pt arguing ... the fight ends before it even starts ... 1 -nil to the teacher .... teachers always win :(:( ...

erh .... see ... i told you how sinister teachers can be ... and im just so right ... haizzz ... i just hate it when you know u have this that those these and so many more homework to do ... and you just feel so tired to continue ... erh ... its all in the name of happy mugging ... i feel so depressed just talking about mugging ... see the irony ??? ... but nothing beats STUDYING during HOLIDAYS ... but i guess its necessary evil then ... haizzz ...

wat else to talk about ??? ... haizzz ... im just so wanna buy Joi Chua's new cd ... coz from the advertisements ... the songs sound pretty good ... and somehow i feel that she looks quite chio in her images in this album ... lol ... but main selling point has to be the music in it ... well ... i guess im not being the ideal consumer as i am believing in what advertisements are saying ... where did all the econs go ??? ... well ... i have yet to come to a conclusion anyway ... to buy or not to buy ... lol ...

as you guyz have guessed ... im crapping now ... coz im running out of things to say ... so might as well end now ... lol ... oh ... now replying to some tags ... lol ...
mitch --> erh ... no need to try to nt be suan lar ... its better to be yourself (that was a insult btw :P:P ) ... jkjking ... but try to change lar ... it makes you a better person ... but in case you feel that you need to go back to your suanning roots ... pls rmb to look for me ... i will be more then glad to be suanned ... but i will suan you back times two ... hehe ... :P:P ...
yushu --> hehe ... just blogged ... thanks for dropping by
xt > hehe ... harloz

now time to go off le ... v tired le ... maybe i go sleep ... maybe i go mug ... but either way ... im going off ... cyaz :):) ...

About time ...

2005-08-31T07:12:00.000-07:00

hehe ... today was tchrs day and stuff ... was really busy ... went to school and started off with assembly ... aces day workout after that ... went to class room for a while to pon abit of the dance ... sianz wat ... then went back for the performance ... was pretty cool except it was in open air ... v hot man ... *applauds performers* ... then went back to class for class item ... we sang 3 songs ... one remix of a chinese song ... at the beginning and you are my sunshine ... was pretty fun though ... then had to rush off to cat high ... and one of my dear friend acutally wore a cat high uniform that was at least two sizes too small ... u wanna noe the reaction of the group of cat high ppl at the grandstand ... v classic ... that wat makes us "Uniquely Cat High" :):) ...

then cat high the time ... meet lots of ppl ... v happy ... didnt get to see any tchrs though ... they all had lunch at the hall or something lidat ... but must admit i didnt really make the effort to hunt them down ... then went off with a group of my classmates to go play lan ... at least we intended to ... but everywhere was full ... so after a quick meal at "MEAT U THERE" (name of a chicken rice store :):) ) ... we went on to KBox ... lol ... my very first time leh ... nv been to KBox before or sorts ... lol ... had a whale of a good time torturing my friends :):) ... and the funny thing is even after we passed the allocated time for a good half an hour ... no one came to chase us away :):) ... but we had to meet our other friends ... so had to go lor ... lol ... but dun tink i wuld wan to go to KBox again ... its really kind of ex. leh ... 11 plus i paid :):) ... but once in a while ok lor :):) ...

well ... dunno wat else to say anyway ... turns out fate dictates that i just wun get all the things i wan ... well ... wat to say ... walloping in self pity really sux anyway ... just hope that lucky ppl will learn to treasure what they have ... "Even losers can get lucky sometimes" ... i classify as a loser ... so why cant i just get lucky sometimes ??? ... well ... once again ... lucky ppl shld just learn to treasure lucky things they have ... and i tink im refering to a particular lucky person ... being envious does not help anyway ... anyway ... changed my bg sound to "Waiting for You" by Hu Yan Bing ... a song i heard from KBox ... well ... heck lar ... just going to off now ... to mug i tink ... hope i can stay away :):) ... good luck guyz ... and just dun be as loser as me ...

Post for the sake of posting ...

2005-08-25T05:23:00.000-07:00

heres posting for the sake of posting ... lets face it ... jc life just isnt interesting enuff to have so many things to say :(:( ... esp. when promos are drawing near ... what to do ??? ... just keep telling myself to wait til the promos end ... then can play !!! ... hehe ... holidays rox ... but on the more down to earth face of current life ... theres only a couple (5 - 6 ???) weeks to the promos ... time to pull up my socks all the way ... but no so high that it tears ... that will be so dreadful :(:( ... i tink i must be going mad ... coz im lame :):) ... juz proved the former by the way ...

since blogging is about talking about my life ... i shall do just that now ... coz i scared later no more time (before bedtime) ... today was a damn damn damn long day ... all the way til 5:20 pm ... oh man ... its just so tiring ... no free periods sumore ... so sianz ... the 2 good things of thursdays are its mornings and after it is friday !!! ... but today was just one of the toughtest day man ...

just changed the bg song yet again ... its "Gai Shi Ni De" by Ocean Ou De Yang ... nice melody and meaningful lyrics ... enjoy it k ??? ... lol ... i personally like it quite a bit ... and i tot it would be better to use this song here instead of a rock song :):) ... dunno ... personal preference ...

see ... im just about to run out of things to say ... says pretty much about how interesting my life is isnt it ??? ... dunno why ... but i just cant seem to keep something out of my mind ... i noe i keep touching on this in every single post ... but somethings just cant be cant be kept inside for too long ... and its sounds so f**ked-up to say it to others ... so im just dumping it to nothingness ... i dun get a reply for sure ... but at least it out and i get to share it with nobody ... strange concept ... sounds a lit too literal in nature ... but just dun read beyond this ... theres only two possible routes for u if you read past this point ... either u entirely dun get wat i mean ... or what i say sun interest u at all ... either way ... ur time spend reading beyond here can be used more productively ... such as mugging or slacking ...

that was a lot of crap ... basically want to tell nobody here that sometimes ... i just feel like i wan to do something ... but just lack the courage to do so ... i dun blame myself ... coz this just issnt a simple decision to make ... it can have so many possible consequences and outcomes ... some good ... most bad ... but theres just this question that is making everything hang in the balance ... its just kind of weird when i want to know the answer and not know the answer at the same time ... coz im curious to noe ... and im afraid the answer might just ... i dunno how to describe it ... but thing is even if the answer is the other one ... it doesnt make things any easier ... it forces me with a decision ... i could choice to not act but live to regret it ... and i could choice to do so ... but to what outcome ??? ... its just a lose-lose situation ... either way i do ... things dun get easier ... what should i do then ??? ... lol ... if i knew ... i wun be lamenting here will i ??? ...

well ... on the whole im still a relatively happy person as comapred to last time ... well ... just hoping life can get better soon ... maybe after the promos ... maybe i will get crazy enough to act ... haizzz ... maybe maybe maybe ... just maybe ...

Quick Post ...

2005-08-16T07:35:00.000-07:00

ok ... a quick post since i cant find a time to sit down properly to blog ... school work is piling on and the promo are like so near ... stress lvl rising ... and it really does not help when ur tutors keep impressing on u that the promos will be so ^ infinity harder then the CTs ... not the ideal way to motivate ur students to work ... gives them lots of stress ... my goal is simple and im quite sure its within my abilities ... i just need to give it my best :):) ... and lots of luck to myself and my classmates :):) ...

well ... life goes on as usual ... or should i say life drags on as usual ... sianz to the max ... what to do ... just last through all this and the OP of PW ... then can slack liao :):) ... for a while at least ... so sianz right ...

dunno why ... i starting to feel so depressed at sometimes ... its like something is sorely missing from my life ... its like a void inside of me ... and its sucking our happiness from my life ... whatever the void is ... can only hope that it will be filled up soon and quickly ... i dunno ... life as me sure is pretty mudane and uninteresting and sucky ... what to do when ur me ??? ...

this is just to make the post seem longer ... kk ... im crapping ...

kk ... im inclined to believe that i will get my day under the sun one day ... so while waiting for that to come ... might as well give it my best ... sry that this short post dragged out so long ... but have to go now ... cyaz :):) ...

Visit to NLB ...

2005-08-10T03:10:00.000-07:00

just came back from pw meeting at the new national library ... was quite impressed by the size and the architecture ... i admit i wanted the meeting to be there because i wanted to see that place mah :):) ... and was hoping for a large collection of books to do research with ... u wanna be a proud singaporean who has nv been to nlb before ??? ... oh ... speaking of proud singaporean ... yesterday was national day :):) !!! ... enjoyed the parade immensely ... especially the air show and mobile column display ... im proud to be a singaporean :):) ... i really love singapore !!! ... call it post-NDP euphoria ... lol ...

continuing on the nlb visit ... was acutally quite productive ... as my grp managed to find a couple of books that were relatively related to our project ... and when me and james where queuing out to photocopy the books (cant borrow reference books mah) ... we overheard the animated conversation of some guyz infront of us ... made us laugh like mad ... lol ... damn funny sia ...

haizzz ... its both happy and sad to be back to school tomorrow ... not too sure why ... but on the bright side ... half of the week has gone liao ... only left 2 days to the weekend ... sad to say that this few days of hols were not productive at all ... but what to do ??? ... time lost is lost ... just treat it as giving myself a break :):) ...

a lot of my classmates seem very down and unhappy nowadays ... felt this way when i read their blogs ... xt seem like she's heavily burden by the many reponsiblities she has ... and she sounds like shes very unhappy because of it ... i cant say for sure how to remedy the situation ... but just wan to tell her that ... its hard to please everyone in this world ... so just make sure that you are happy doing the things u do ... and thats enough ... lol ... ur not wonderwoman ... so dont try to juggle so many things at once and expect to do all of them perfectly ... bottomline line is just to stay happy :):) ...

and zhi jun also ... ehrm ... i dun tink its anybody's fault that the outing didnt turn out the way they did ... its just unfortuante that the council ppl had their activites and the rest had to go for pw ... so its not your fault lar ... lol ... dun make me feel bad can ??? ... the assnt ct rep who did nothing :(:( ...

and oh yar ... yushu sounds like he is seriously tramatised by previous experinces ... although i might argee to your catchphrase ... i think bottomline is just not to think about it ... and just let nature take it course ... if it comes ... just accept it and stuff ... ehrm ... i dunno if im making sense ... but oh well ...

just changed my bg song to "Reach Out For The Skies (Chinese)" ... chose the chinese version beacuse i like the lyrics :):) ... maybe this is a way to say happy birthday to sg ... lol ... another aspect is that this is a happy song ... not like the previous one ... this one is filled with hope and joy for the future ... like i hope things will be happy and nice for me in the future ...

kk ... i think i going le ... school 2ml ... maybe a lit happy amid disappointment ... "Thats what i go to school for" ... :):) ... school has meaning when u haf motivation :):) ... hehehe ... and i hope my dear classmates will stay happy and even more happier forever ... and 05s15 to be the happiest class in NJ and the whole wide world :):) ...

Sianz National Day ...

2005-08-09T00:11:00.000-07:00

haizzz ... its supposed to be national day today ... a day of festive spirits and happiness ... and yet i am feeling so down ... should be due to a couple of reasons lar ... mainly because of my studies man ... i was planning today and 2ml to be mugging days ... must study like mad ... but now ... i found out that all the tutorials were not as easy as them seemed ... i was busy racking my brains on the questions and checking the answers ... disppointed when they dun match ... relived when they do ... but more often then not ... they dont ... chem was the best ... no answers included ... so i could be doing all the questions in the tutorial wrongly and yet not realise it ... sianzzz ... the other subjects were bad enough liaoz ... lets not talk about econs ... so i was getting so frustrated with the tutorials that i decided to take a break and come and blog ...

lol ... just finished a choclate ice-cream at the start of this post ... was trying to get a healthy dose of endorphins ... lol ... heard it from charlie and the choc. factory ... went to watch it with the class yest at marina square gv ... haha ... yest was national day eve ... so everywhere was so congested ... so even when we went to marina square ... we had to contend with front row seats ... so sad right ??? ... was craning my neck to watch the movie properly ... actually intended watch seven swords ... but the girls majority mah ... so let them win and go with them ...

before that was national day celebration which included cultural mapping ... james suddenly fell ill so went to help him ... missed out of most of the activites ... but managed to catch the performance for the guests ... quite nice lar ... lol ... prak can dance damn well sia ... impressed :):) ... but after that ... was the intented class outing to the movies ... but two group of ppl had to go for their pw interviews with a minister ... so almost half the class was gone ??? ... was actually quite disppointed at that pt of time ... so i think i sounded very pissed ... sry hor guyz ... ehrm ... but still proceeded on with the class outing with the rest of the ppl who were free and enjoyed it quite much :):) ...

oh ... the endorphins must be taking effects now ... or it must be the blogging ... lol ... im feeling slightly better now ... haizzz ... looking forward to national day parade later on ... maybe i will self reflect on myself now ... courtesy of my good bro kn ... who is always there to talk to when u need him ... haizzz ... quote from yu shu liao ... "whats urs will be yours ... whats not yours will nv be urs" ... i tink he said it on the bus to ZX ... kind of a good excuse to tell ur self to just sit back and wait for things to work out themselves ... but in any case ... its not as if i can do much now ... so just wait and see lor ...

okok ... i going off now ... going to get busy mugging again ... haizzz ... wish me luck as i battle through the mountains of questions prepared for me :):) ... then going le ... end with a quote ... provided u can see it :P:P ...

its a blessing to be loved but a curse to love - haizzz ... indeed ... lol ...

A post after inacitvity ...

2005-08-06T01:00:00.000-07:00

lol ... it has been quite long since i blogged ... was too lazy ??? ... wasnt actually intending to blog now ... but could not find a dota game on battlenet ... so might as well use time wisely and come blog ... and go mug later ... lol ...

wat to say ... life's going on as usual ... a long break from studies awaits me ... no lar ... just no need to go school only ... still must mug one :(:( ... wat to do ... so busy lor ... haizzz ... promos are just round the corner ... must work towards my goals mah ... at the risk of becoming a full-fleged mugger ...

lol ... went with zy yest all the way to jurong creative headquaters to service my mp3 ... we both were the sad owners of malfunctioning zen micros :(:( ... but the kind lady there tested my zen and found the same problem ... so she replaced it for me on the spot :):) ... better then apple sia ... need to wait a couple of days then can go collect ... so mah fun leh ... lol ... im glad that i finally had the determination to go fix this irritating problem once and for all ... it was very irritating to have to keep adjusting the ear jack to get the song running :):) ... but its all history now ...

then went i reached home ... i started to load my empty zen with songs ... on top of the old ones ... i went to get many more songs ... lol ... on last count it was 180 songs ... so happy ... now my zen is functioning properly ... pity i couldnt change the colour ... got a bit sick of white ... but i still think that white is nice :):) ...

then went to play soccer today morning ... was quite fun ... my poor shoes are near the end of their service man ... my mother refused to believe that u need at least a "decent" pair of shoes to play soccer ... decent as in the soles are still intact or in "two" pieces ... then my shoe made me injure my foot ... sad sad ... but it was minor though ... cant say my soccer is good ... which in fact is not true ... my soccer sux ... so now im working on it lor ... hope to improve on it ...

i got a new resolution ... and it requires me to just do nothing ... doesnt make sense ??? ... it shouldnt ... :P:P ... since theres nothing i can do about circumstances ... just wait it out and see what happens ... a bit like "shou zhu dai tu" lidat ... wat can be done ??? ... dunno dunno dunno ... just wait and see ... what is meant to be will be ... and what is not meant to be will never be ... food for though here ... is destiny preplanned or can we fight to change fate ??? ...

lol ... this long post is the result of compressing so many days of talk into one post ... sorry for the lazyness ... but too busy sia ... got pw and stuff to finish ... sianz ... EoM still not done :(:( ... kk ... after this post must go work hard liao ... determined to work hard ... mugging can really take your mind off other stuff ... so mug away :):) ...

so i think this is the end ... im trying to rmb things that should be included but not ... but dun tink there is any ... so goodbye ppl ...

p.s. i cant cook : tell u a secret ... i can cook leh ... my menu includes maggie mee soup and maggie mee dry ... so li hai right ??? ... not like u :P:P ... lol ... jkjking ... thanks for dropping by ... :):) ...
shuyu : im not sad ... being sad is like crying over spilt milk ... no pt ... cant be bothered about her anymore ... really ... :):) ...

2005-08-01T06:25:00.000-07:00

"Welcome To My Life"

Do you ever feel like breaking down?

Do you ever feel out of place?

Like somehow you just don't belong

And no one understands you

Do you ever wanna run away?

Do you lock yourself in your room?

With the radio on turned up so loud

That no one hears you screaming

No you don't know what it's like

When nothing feels all right

You don't know what it's like

To be like me

To be hurt

To feel lost

To be left out in the dark

To be kicked when you're down

To feel like you've been pushed around

To be on the edge of breaking down

And no one's there to save you

No you don't know what it's like

Welcome to my life

Do you wanna be somebody else?

Are you sick of feeling so left out?

Are you desperate to find something more?

Before your life is over

Are you stuck inside a world you hate?

Are you sick of everyone around?

With their big fake smiles and stupid lies

While deep inside you're bleeding

No you don't know what it's like

When nothing feels all right

You don't know what it's like

To be like me

To be hurt

To feel lost

To be left out in the dark

To be kicked when you're down

To feel like you've been pushed around

To be on the edge of breaking down

And no one's there to save you

No you don't know what it's like

Welcome to my life

No one ever lied straight to your face

And no one ever stabbed you in the back

You might think I'm happy but I'm not gonna be okay

Everybody always gave you what you wanted

You never had to work it was always there

You don't know what it's like, what it's like

To be hurt

To feel lost

To be left out in the dark

To be kicked when you're down

To feel like you've been pushed around

To be on the edge of breaking down

And no one's there to save you

No you don't know what it's like (what it's like)

To be hurt

To feel lost

To be left out in the dark

To be kicked when you're down

To feel like you've been pushed around

To be on the edge of breaking down

And no one's there to save you

No you don't know what it's like

Welcome to my life

What else ...

2005-07-29T06:35:00.000-07:00

mugging can really take your mind off things ... in fact ... you can enter a state of trance when your mugging ... u can temporarily forget about somethings when your are mugging ... well ... since blogging is talking about my life ... i shall do just that ... talking about my sad life ... this shall be a pure whining post ... so if ur not interested to hear crap ... can ignore this post :):) ...

yeah ... anyway what i want to say was acutally in a post a couple of weeks/days ago ... i cant rmb ... im just going to repeat myself again ... acutally preparations does makes any situation better ... lol ... history does repeat itself ... its the same situation everytime ... so much so ... that i can even predict what happens next ... talk about irony man ... heck ... i cant be bothered any longer ... mugging is the only cure ...

life's not unfair to me ... it has given me much ... and im not foolish enough to expect everything in life to turn out the way i want it too ... but man is greedy ... man wants the best in everything ... so whos to blame me ??? ... contentment is the way to go ... just continue mugging hard to transform into a mugger and become nothing but a stoning mugger ... its the best ...

wat else is there to say ... going to finish pw research by today ... sat and sun are pure mugging days ... drowning in homework :(:( ... wells i guess jc life is just like that ??? ... class ppl are mugging hard ... must get in the mood ... but i guess im just not the type with the long attention span ... and can sit there and mug for hours ... haizzz ...

kk ... going off to do my research now ... got nothing more to sad about my sad life ... things pass ... time to gain experience now ... nv fall for the same trick twice ... once bitten twice shy ... however u phrase it ... it means to mug and nothing else ... cyaz and nitez ... and may 2ml be a better day ...

Life and Destiny ...

2005-07-28T06:08:00.000-07:00

today started with me feeling very weird ... dun ask me how to describe it ... its just ....... weird ... i dunno why ... just weird ... haizzz ... today was a super long day lar ... 8:50 all the way till 5 plus ... damn it ... study all the way ... with no free periods sumore ... sianz man ... oh well ... i struggled through and made it home in one piece ... although very exhuasted ... so i just rushed through my chem prac report and so im here :):) ...

today got not many interesting events lor ... one of them got to be wang zheng stirring during chem prac ... his stirring was so vigourous that it destroyed 3 cups !!! ... talk about strength !!! ... really got not much to talk about sia ... maybe my life just too sad ...

haizzz ... i really hate my hair ... must make it a point to go get it cut this coming weekend :):) ... and my stupid zen micro ... theres sumthing wrong with the socket ... must really go get it sorted out soon :(:( ... talk about quality listening experience :(:( ...

this part is just some random thoughts in my mind ... in case your wondering why made so hard to read ... its because of my effort to deter u to read ... thats if your even seeing this in the first place ...
cleard up some of the many doubts in my mind over this period of time ... but wats the point of clearing them up ... when all thats replacing them is even more doubts ... thats still "that" qns that might make others needless to say ... the more i tink about the problem ... the more i tink the chances of success is almost impossible ... i dunno what to say and wat to do ... and i say is that its damn sad ...
lol ... one good song to decribe the situation would be obviously by mcfly ... lame lar ... dunno what more to say ... so end here :(:( ... hope 2ml will be better ??? ...

kk ... end here ... hope tomorrow will be a much better day :):) ...

Quick Post ...

2005-07-26T07:14:00.000-07:00

here just minutes before my bedtime ... have to say im very tired today :(:( ... felt so sleepy during tution ... then kena caught by tutor somemore :(:( ... im just so tired today ... so i just try to to make this quick ... so i can go get my sleep :):) ...

yar ... today went to RGPS for pw ... was a nerve-wrecking experience ... initally ... we asked to interview 5 teachers ... expecting to get one at a go ... but ended up interviewing 5 at the same time !!! ... and i was the poor guy asking question ... im just not as good with words as dency or adi ... so i just fumbled along :):) ...

met a lot of old frens today ... in quick succession somemore ... its it quite nice to see them once again :):) ... haizzz ... the good old times :):) ...

im too tired to talk anymore about "that" ... lets just say life went on as usual ... with my dear classmates doing their best to irritate me ... fine ... just dun go overboard can liao ... and im sure they all know where the line is drawn ...

p.e tomorrow ... yawnz ... sick of remdials ... coz they wun help u improve ??? ... dunno lar ... and im really tired now ... as can be seen from the short and concise language i employ :):) ... kk ... cyaz and nitez to one and all :):) ...

Sunday :):) ...

2005-07-24T02:53:00.000-07:00

sry for not blogging for so long :):) ... was kind of busy with pw and stuff ... hehe ... i was kind of waiting for my dl of Gundam Seed Destiny esp. 40 to end ... so just to use some time wisely :):) ...

got two new resolutions ... first one concerns my studies ... starting from next week onwards ... i shall start working hard on my promos ... which are like 8 weeks away ??? (courtesy of reminders from dear ms chen :):) ...) ... hehe ... i must really work hard to my aim ... i dun wan to regret later on ... jc life is all about mugging ... so i just have to accept it ... and continue working hard ...

second resolution has to do with "something" ... dun wan to say ... i decided that putting a definite timeframe to it wun work ... so im leaving it all up to fate ... not to say i wun do anything ... but must wait for the right opportunity :):) ... as of now ... i still dun have the answer to the qns ... but being human ... of course ... im hoping it will be the more favourable one :):) ... *sincerely hopes* ...

thanks zj and shuyu for tagging ... i know its just me moaning and whining about life ... so dun take my words that seriously :):) ... thanks for the concern too :):) ...

anyway ... im typing this post in a relatively happy mood ... so i tink my words will be happy too ... anyway ... school opens 2ml ... hope theres the half day :):) ... also ... a brand new week of "something" and school !!! ...

Confused yet again ...

2005-07-22T06:25:00.000-07:00

also dunno why im so confused all the time ... this time i have a resolve ... a determination to acheive that certain goal ... but i serious dun tink things will work out the way i want them to ... since when did they ... except for a few occasions i must admit ... either way ... i dun really noe ... haizzz ... since when did life become so confusing ??? :(:( ...

even now ... im hesitating ... whether to take the first step towards it ... should i do so ... even if theres no definite gurantee of success ... should i or should i not ??? ... :(:( ... its a hard decision to make ... coz theres too many possible consquences ... wat should i do ... im so afraid i will make a decision ... yet live to regret it later on ...

so now ... i decided to just take it step by step ... ensuring that i have a sure footing on every step ... before i make the next one ... see how lor ... if life dictates that i must fail ... then i tink i cant fight destiny ... just learn to take it in my stride ...

but i know i should not be moaning about my life ... blessed am i compared to others ... theres are many much more unfortunate then me ... so i must have a positive outlook on life ... no matter wats the answer :):) ...

lol ... watching russell peters now ... his super entertaining lar ... lol ... in case you are wondering ... go to www.mathsociety.com and click on videos and dl the russell peters video from there ... you wun regret it :):) ...

now ... as i have just wasted another day slacking ... 2ml shall be a pure mugging day ... aim to finish fuction1 tut and chem tut by 2ml ... hope i can do it ... hope things will go my way pls :):) ... lol ... sleep after finishing russell peters ... kk ... nitez :):) ...

Harsh Reality ...

2005-07-21T05:45:00.000-07:00

i must be so completely disconnected from reality ... to be thinking of putting into action into what was in my mind ... im confused coz theres so many questions in my mind ... the biggest question got to the most important one ... depending on the answer to that question ... theres might not even be the need to be confused more ...

second question is also one that puzzles me ... and it turns out that only i myself have the answer to it ... i really want to know the answer to it ... but i guess no one can help me with it ... only myself ... i really hope the answer is what i hope it will be ... in case ... you thought what i just said does not make sense ... your not alone :):) ...

i dun noe what to tink anymore ... just hoping tomorrow will be a better day ... haizzz ... i just hope it doesnt turn out to be like previous times ... hope life can just be a little better to me ... and let me have the conclusion i want :):) ...

now back to normal stuff ... promos are 8 or 9 weeks away ... not exactly comfortable cushion of time to slack ... so i tink i better go mug after i finish blogging :):) ... life's pretty great except for "that" ... and i should be thankful anyway ... i must really do well for promos ... my wish is to get 2 S-Papers and get promoted ... hope i can do it :):) ... *grins* ...

well replying to some tags ...
ZJ > well ... cant be too concise mah ... or else later the whole world also know ... courtesy of you guyz :):) ...
YuShu> thanks for dropping by ... good luck to you in your mugging too :):) ...

well i tink its time for me to go now :):) ... after promos and op ... i tink i might just do things i never ever imagine i would do ... but thats until the promos end :):) ... for now ... i just have to stick to mugging and more mugging ... cyaz and nitez guyz :):) ...

i guess nothing in this world surprises me anymore ...

2005-07-19T07:18:00.000-07:00

Nothing in this world surprises me anymore ... this is what i have learned ... things are going just the way i expected them to go ... no shock or surprises ... just acceptance ... what else is there can be done ??? ... dun expect me to do anything special ...

felt that i really needed to blog today ... coz i got too much bottled up inside myself ... and im feeling damn depressed ... and now that im slowly typing what i think and feel out ... i feel better ... but still cant chase away the depression ... depression occurs when you cant see any happiness in store for you in the near future ... and thats exactly the way im feeling now :(:( ... i dun noe the reason why ... maybe its because of this ... maybe its because of that ... i dunno ... i just dun have the energy to find out why ...

intially wanted to blog about some other things ... decided against it since im just too tired to do so ... and i feel much better after some rest ... so no point making my blog so dark and unhappy ... i should have known ... or i already know what will happen ... from that point that i made the choice ... cant be bothered liao ... life is not very fair ... but lets face it ... its only one life that you have ... cherish it or ruin it ... its all your choice ... so i guess i have no choice but to live it on and live it to its fullest ...

anyway ... i tink i am going to change the bg sound ... coz im a little sick of that song ... still tinking of what to change it to ... but finally decided on "Yi Lu Xiang Bei" by Jay Chou ... nice song :):) ... just kind of like it ...

going to go off after i edit the html coding ... figured out that tomorrow will be a better day(or at least i wan myself to believe) !!! ... and oh yar ... got 26/50 for my english compo ... getting back compre 2ml ... wish me good luck :):) ... cyaz and nitez ...

Kira of the Sky ... Rise Strike Freedom ...

2005-07-17T06:39:00.000-07:00

as the title shows ... strike freedom was unveiled in esp. 39 of Gundam Seed Destiny today !!! ... although i expected strike freedom to be very strong ... it turned out to be much much much stronger !!! ... it single handledly finished off 3 Nazca-class battleships and their mobile suits (consisting of ZAKUs and GOUFs) ... and it did it in 2 mins !!! ... scary yar ??? ... the DRAGOON system really made it much more powerful then the original freedom ... really hoping to see Infinite Justice appearing :):) ... ok ... for the sake of ppl who are not anime-crazy like me ... i shall stop here k ??? ...

just finished watching the tv premier of "Minority Report" on channel 5 ... its quite nice ... the story plot is really interesting ... lol ... a lot of interesting twists and turns ... the ending is definitely not one that could be anticipated ...

having my spa assentment tomorrow ... hope i do well :):) ... i hoped i have already accomplished all the revision that is needed ... since i will not have any time to do it tomorrow ... physics practical is first period of 2ml ...

i tink i might want to stop now and go and sleep early so that i can have more energy tomorrow ::):) ... u might wan to stop here since the text below this will not make sense to anyone except myself ... i experimenting with colours here ... so dun blame me if they are not nice :):) ... never really much of a art guy :):) ...

just when i thought i had learned from all the previous times ... i find myself plunging straight downwards to the same mistake ... im trying hard to convince myself that this time its real ... but is it really ??? ... theres only two possible routes to take now ... one is to do what i did the previous time ... and end up possibily regretful ... the other is to take action and hope for the best ... two ways ... many possible outcomes ??? ... im find myself escaping from the problem ... just contented doing nothing ... but now im only hoping im correct and for a positive outcome ...

Im on track :):) ...

2005-07-16T04:58:00.000-07:00

i was not actually intending to come online ... only decided to do so because i wanted to check out the young modulus video available on the nj km system ... hoped that it will be useful for my spa assesment on mon (which is on racial harmony day) ... that means that i will have to wear my school uniform (unfortunately grey) despite the festivities :(:( ... though that it was not wise to lug along another set of clothes ... as it would expand my bag like crazy ...

was actually intending to allocate today as a pure mugging day ... but i spend about 2 hours sleeping (so lazy right ???) ... but managed to finish my coordinate geog 2 tut and assignment today ... going to continue with functions 1 tut later on ... as i just feel like doing maths :):) ... just finished the video ... found it quite ok ... hope it would be useful on monday :):) ...

today was just another boring saturday ... nothing really interesting happened ... so nothing much to blog about ... lol ... oh yar ... one major happening today was the release of the Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince ... quite excited to read it ... except im burdened by the lack of money :(:( ... no choice ... have to wait for everyone else to finish reading before i start ... now im anticipating for the release of Gundam Seed Destiny esp. 39 ... strike freedom will appear in this esp. !!! ... strike freedom is really cool with its new DRAGOON system ... hope they will showcase all of its weapons system :):) ... kk ... im off to do some minor tweaking to the html coding ... so long now :):) ...

Oral Presentation Workshop ...

2005-07-15T05:31:00.000-07:00

today had oral presentation workshop ... was not very productive ??? ... she (our trainer) just made us stand in front of my class and give a presentation ... i sux as usual ... and it just went on with everyone giving their speeches ... quite different from the usual oral presentation workshop i went for ... this got to be the worst of them :(:( ...

today was a damn bad day ... keep getting suan ... for the sake of keeping my sanity when school reopens on Monday ... i shall make it CYRSTAL CLEAR ... the "her" in my previous posts are just a figment of my imagination ... i repeat "A FIGMENT OF MY IMAGINATION" ... that means "she" doesnt exist ... i cant be bothered anymore :(:( ... "nothing is impossible" is a crap piece of advice :(:( ...

sorry for flaming ... now ... on a lighter note ... school was relatively productive today ... was happy that i went to mug during the free time i had after school and before the o.p workshop ... managed to do a couple of questions from Coordinate geog 2 tutorial ... so happy :):) ... was actually intending to finish the rest of the questions by today ... but dun tink can finish since im slacking here :):) ...

lol ... im acutally editing my survey and blogging at the same time ... slacking me ... just could not bring myself to mug during a friday night ... haizzz ...

kk ... shall end here today ... cyaz til the next post :):) ...

Untitled :):) ...

2005-07-14T05:07:00.000-07:00

phew ... just managed to finish my maths graphmatica homework ... and theres still the whole chuck of econs tys and g.p research waiting :(:( ... does homework ever end ??? ... haizzz ... i guess i just have to type a little bit faster ... and then get on with my homework :(:( ...

today got back the much anticipated econs results ... i did ok ??? ... i mean i got a C all thanks to my essay which failed :(:( ( i wonder how joyce manage to get 30/50 for essay !!?!!? ) ... but i managed to pull off a C ... which can be considered to be not bad in my class ... shall not continue further lest i get beaten up :P:P ... but all i can say is that im happy that i tired my best for econs and i got a reflection of my efforts ... same cant be said about the other subjects though ... hope my g.p doesnt do that badly :):) *hopes* ...

wat else is there to blog about ??? ... let me think ... oh yar ... pw is getting on my nerves ... schools are uncooperative at all ... and its not generalising on the whole ... dency called rgps and they said they were too busy to help :(:( ... haizzz ... cant really blame them ... maybe they really are busy producing the top scholars for the psle :P:P ...

today was damn embarrasing ... courtesy of dear james ... who happily and gleefully told the whole world who she was :(:( ... now i must really hope she does not get wind of it ... if she does :(:( ... i also dunno where to hide ... haizzz ... can look look only ... can forget about ever approaching her ... lol ... life sux :(:( ...

i tink i must end this post here now ... must go make some minor adjustments to the coding ... busy busy busy ... sianzzz man ... homework !!! ... haizzz ... no point moaning about it ... must start working on it liaoz :):) .... on the whole ... today was quite a happy day :):) ...

p.s. this is the biggest font i can find ... xt if still cant see ... go see optician hor :P:P ....

A day mixed with good luck and bad luck ...

2005-07-12T05:22:00.000-07:00

ouch ... as im typing this ... i am being constantly bothered by a constant ache in my lower jaw ... and weirdly ... only the left half of the teeth in the lower jaw aches ... dinner was horrible with the stupid ache ... but im braving it to type this post ... so must appreciate (lol ... jking jking) ...

just went to place my pe attire in my bag in case i forget later ... theres still pe 2ml :):) ... school today was boring ... i was trying my best to keep awake ... i must really make it a point to keep awake during school ... MUST ... and the only happy thing about today was that i got to sit behind her ??? ...

today went to tp library to do my project work ... was kind of sianz ... just sat there for an hour or so counting the number of kids that went by ... mudane (hehe ... word from gp :):) ... ) ... the bored james and me just went doing some "rating" ... shall not elaborate here ... since its not very nice :):) ...

was actually thinking of changing the blog bg sound to "Yi Lu Xiang Bei" by Jay Chou ... but decided to postpone the change to later on ... im sure you guyz like "Reason" right ??? ... "Reason" and "Yi Lu Xiang Bei" are two of my favourite songs now ... u just cant get enough of them :):) ... im listening to "Yi Lu Xiang Bei" as im bloggin now :):) ...

shuyu ... you mind not getting overly excited ??? ... just now give james ur blog url dun gif me :(:( ... angry liao :P:P ... lol ... kidding ...

im suffering an intense pain whenever i sneeze and my teeth press closely against each other ... haizzz ... hope i will get well soon :):) ... and now to more mugging :):) ...

Yet another boring Monday :(:( ...

2005-07-11T06:51:00.000-07:00

this shall be rather short ... since my main purpose of turning on the comp was not to blog ... owning to mr low ... i faithfully decided to use the "Graphmatica" program to tackle my co-ordinate geog questions ... going to do so shortly after ...

school was dull today ... the most eventful thing happened during chem prac ... i had placed my burette on the retort stand still left over with some acid ... little did i expect minutes later ... the whole burette overturned and spilled acid on half of my lab report and a little of my pencil box ... its kind of hard to picture it now ... but lets just say its disastrous :(:( ... then the class wanted to choose a vice-CT rep ... i was "qualified" coz i wasnt the exco of my cca :(:( ... not exactly a wonderful though ... but since there was no definite conclusion to the vote ... i shall not talk more about it ... ms chen told us to tink about it seriously ... and i tried ... but had no conclusion :(:( ...

theres still school 2ml ... and im might be getting back GP and the other half of my econs paper ... wish me good luck :):) ... coz i will really need it ... kk ... kn just reminded me of my goals in life ... and im shall work hard on it ... and i start by getting on with my co-ordinate geog tut 2 :):) ...

Background Music

2005-07-10T02:18:00.000-07:00

hehe ... added my fav song as the background music ... in case you are wondering what song it is ... its Reason by Tamaki Nami ... its the 1st Ending Theme for Gundam Seed Destiny ... really cool and nice right ??? ... enjoy the song :):) ... but really sorry if the song just pauses for nothing sometimes ... cant seem to find out the source of the problem ... appologises for all inconviences caused :):) ...

today was a day spend sleeping and more sleeping mostly ... so nothing much to blog about ... maybe tomorrow :):) ... and yar ... if you want a link right ... pls kindly leave ur name and url in the tagboard ... thanks a million :):) ... kk ... got to do my maths co-ordinate geog tut liao ... if not kena killed by mr low how ??? ... especially when i didnt do well for maths :(:( ... but now must work hard towards the promos ... and "own" maths :):) ...

p.s. im enlarging the font size for xt's viewing pleasure (she old mah) ... keep complaining about small font .... hehe ..... jking jking :):) ...

Initial D rox !!! .....

2005-07-09T02:11:00.000-07:00

hehe ... just came back from watching Initial D ... i noe i abit lag but still managed to go watch the movie ... damn nice sia ... the movie was really interesting in the sense that the racing scenes simply rox ... other racing movie used to contain many technical racing jargons that left question marks in the head ... but i actually did understand what the racing parts in the movie :):) ... and jay chou rox !!! ... athough i am inclined to argee that his acting was not really top-notch ... but who gets it all right the first time !!! ... give him some slack ... its his first time acting and im sure he will get better if he continues to work hard ... lol ... im actually listening to "Piao Yi" as im blogging now ... its really nice :):) ... i bet jay chou's star appeal actually drew in most of the crowds for this movie ...yar ... the two songs he composed specially for the movie is damn nice ... "Yi Lu Xiang Bei" and "Piao Yi" ...

one part of the movie that was clearly lacking was the romance part (like the newspaper said) ... it was quite abrupt and short ... could have been longer so i can see more of the chio female lead :P:P (jking jking ...) ... btw just changed to "Yi Lu Xiang Bei" ... as i was saying ... the romance part was not enough ??? ... but one thing i couldnt comprehend about the romance was the fact jay chou just forsake anne for something that was not entirely her fault (they didnt really explain the story behind it so i infered ???) ... even if she's wrong by lying to him ... isnt such a thing as forgiving ??? ... im sure the audiences would have prefered a happier ending to the romance (at least i would) ... or maybe im just living in my own fantasy world ... far away from reality ... maybe things arent that rosy in reality ... haizzz ...

on the whole the movie rox !!! ... the exciting racing scenes earned it lots of plus points no doubt ... the cool factor of the movie is damn high ... and so all those who have yet to watch it ... i would highly recommend it ... but maybe my post contains too much spoilers ??? :):) ... but anyway ... i have to complete my chem reaction kinetics tutorial and my maths co-ordinate geog by this weekend ... its my goal and i have to complete it !!! *determined grin* ... kk ... going to work hard for the promos :):) ...

Tiring Day ( not spent mugging ) ...

2005-07-08T05:32:00.000-07:00

haizzz ... today is friday ... one of the earlier days my school end but i ended up reaching home at 7 pm plus ... very late ... school started off with a very "funny" incident happening just before assembly ... i will( might ) talk about it later ... it all depends on my mood :):) ... but school went on as usually with nothing much happening ... p.e was just as tiring because i had to attend p.e. remedial for ppl who fail napfa ... 4 rounds and sets of strength exercises ... i was convinced it was all good for my future army life ... so i just did it lor ... haizzz ...

then school went on as usual ... after school went to adam food centre with lots of ppl ... lazy to list them out (sorry guyz) ... then after meal went to serene center (across the road) ... to eat ice-cream ...but not before being lead by auntie zj on a bargain hunting trip which unfortunately ended up with empty hands ... ice-cream was good (reverse-o rox !!!) ... after that header back to cat high to meet alvin and bran ... found them at the pool table together with chew and another ex-cat high guy ... they were very good in pool ... lol ... just another arena which i sux in ... nothing to be surprised about ... lol ... after a while ... bran wanted a quiter place to practice his guitar skills (under the not-so-skillful guidance of alvin) ... and thus we headed to the ampi-theatre ... thus they practised while we talk cok all the way over the hours ... then we started singing with alvin playing his guitar (must admit his guitar skills really not bad ... while my singing sux) ... all the way until 6 plus going on 7 ... then alvin and bran went to eat dinner while i went home for my own dinner ... after a short while ... i finished my dinner and showered ... and here i am !!! ...

as for the "funny" incident ... i dunno if i should talk about it ... it will make me seem very bhb (shameless) ... so if you dun wan to read ... stop here :):) ... no offense intended ...

it happened when i was waiting at the parade square for assembly to start ... then i was happily chatting with my friends when suddenly my dear junior basil suddenly appeared in front of me and said got 2 hk girls wan to take photo with me (!?!?!!?!?!) ... i was like "huh" and intially didnt want to take ... but haizzz ... in the end took a photo with the two of them ... dun ask me if they chio not ... i didnt take a good look at them ... it all happened too quickily ... and if your wondering why nj has hong kong ppl all of a sudden ... its because of a exchange program with their school (st. paul if im not wrong) ... you guyz want to guess how shocking it was for me ??? ... the thing is ... ppl want to take photos with you only for two reasons : a) you are exceptionally handsome/pretty and b) you are exceptionally weird (meaning ugly ???) ... then since i dun exactly fall in the first category ... then it has to be that that im in the second :):) ... not exactly a wonderful thought ... but i guess i should be thankful and honoured ppl care to take photos with me ??? ... haizzz ... life does have many surprising turns doesnt it ??? ...

then today got news of london getting bombed soon after they won the olympics bid for 2012 games ... its quite a kick in the face ... u work so hard to win something just to find ur city bombed soon after ... sometimes i really feel that terrorists are such bastards ... do they really think human life is so cheap ??? ... do they really think humans are really pawns on a agenda ??? ... 38 lives (or so i last heard) ... 38 people have families and friends ... how many more people have to suffer because some selfish bastards decide to make an "impact" ... i just feel that maybe the terrorist are trying to affect the carrying out of the olympics ... they bomb london who will be hosting the 2012 games so as to show that they can destroy the olympics when and ever they wan ... :(:( ... their thinking is sure weird ...

on a lighter note ... i got over the poor results thingie ... my grades can be best described by inital D ... 3 Ds for 3 subjects :(:( ... but i will work hard for the promos ... :):) ... and congrats ... u survived this long entry :):) ...

Maiden Post

2005-07-07T06:02:00.000-07:00

i finally decided that life is too complicated to just dump everything that come across my mind to the back of my head and just forget it ... so i have decided to join the large and growing blogging community and create a blog ... it not about being funky and staying in the crowd ... its about trying to find a avenue to say what i feel and stuff ...

it was kind of hard to find a url that i liked ... but i finally though of a ingenious one ... www.uniquelysingapore.blogspot.com ... very lame right ??? ... i was wondering if singapore tourism board would come sue me for copyrights ... but i decided that i wun worry about that until the day comes ... anyway ... i was surprised no one used it so here i am :):) ...

haizzz ... juz got back 3 out of 5 papers ... how should i say ... it was bad ... 3 Ds ... physics i can understand ... thanks to my excellent teacher ... my physics rox !!! ... but my maths and chem were disappointing ... i tried my best ... but it just wasnt good enough ... but now ... im burning with a desire ... to prove to myself that i can do it ... the promos will be the next pitstop ... and i will prove to myself that i can do it !!! ...

anyway ... if u just found this post very dark ... dun worry ... im normally a very lame person ... its just that u simply cant find the mood to be lame after u are hit with 3 bad results in a row ... alright ... its now time to turn to my PW ... i so have to finish it by today :):) ... maybe tomorrow will be a better day !!! ...